It’s been a long long long time coming, but I’ve finally decided to get laser eye surgery to correct my vision. I went to get a consult and I’m booked for December 1st, in just over three weeks. I’m going the fairly old school route – they’re going to give me lots of drugs to make me loopy (which I really really need, cause hello? knife to the eye?), then they’re gonna put a device in my eyes to keep them open (yes, like Clockwork Orange), then they’re gonna numb my eyes and make a tiny cut to the surface and then I’m going to look at a laser and boom. I’ll be able to see perfectly.
It takes about 90 seconds per eye – about 10 seconds to make the perfect cut, and 15 seconds to look at the laser, and then the rest is what happens before and after. This, kids, is why I’m going the knife route. It’s about a minute quicker than a laser cut. Seriously. That minute means a lot to me.
Here’s what i learned from the doc: I’m not farsighted. I may at one point in my life have been farsighted, but I actually can’t see far away or up close anymore and it’s because I have astigmatism. They can clear it up through the surgery, though I may need a second one in the next couple of years because I have pretty severe astigmatism (second surgery is free) and that’s prone to regression. Also, I’ll be able to see properly by the time I leave the facility. Pretty awesome, isn’t it?
Why now? Because, I need to stop delaying and deferring things in my life. It’s time. I should have done this ten years ago (though 10 years ago they didn’t do astigmatism laser surgery, so maybe five years ago). Apparently, I won’t need glasses until my eyes naturally deteriorate in 10-15 years. No glasses! None! I’ve been wearing glasses since I was 5 years old! The concept!
You know what I’m not going to miss about wearing glasses? Here’s a list:
- Fog. My glasses fogged up going into the gym this weekend. Oh man, I hate foggy glasses. And it’s coming up to winter, and that means lots of fog.
- Cleaning my glasses. Seriously? Most redundant exercise ever. They’re dirty almost as soon as you put the cloth away.
- Sliding down glasses. I have a sweaty face, and my glasses slide down all the time, which leads to me pushing them up, which leads to me needing to clean my glasses. See above.
- Sunglasses. I miss wearing full protection wraparounds. They can’t make wraparounds (or, for that matter, squash eye protection), with curved lenses. Instead, they attach a regular lens to the inside, which is so not cool. I’m doing a month long hike next year – I need real, full protection sunnies.
- Buying glasses. The pressure! You want to get the perfect pair that offset your personality and yet still make all your outfits look cool. You want them to complement you. And yet, you’re stuck with them for two years. The pressure! The expense!
You know what, though? I’m kind of scared. I’ve worn glasses full time for 18 years, half my life, and most of the time for well over 20 years. I don’t really know who I am without glasses. They’re convenient – people notice your glasses, not necessarily you. Especially my last 8 years of glasses, which have been pretty darned awesome.
Without glasses, I’ll actually have to, god forbid, wear makeup. And I’m going to have to do something to take care of the rosacea on my face, which totally blew up while I was away. So, I’m going to visit a dermaspa and get that lasered, after I get my eyes done. I’ve got great eyes, yanno. I’m going to be able to show them off.And yet, I’m kind of scared. There’s a big part of my self identity wrapped up in how I see myself when I look in the mirror, and that self wears glasses.
Did I mention how much I hate cleaning my glasses? Totally the major reason I’m doing this, along with the sunglasses. And the fact that it’ll be another 10-15 years before I need to push up another pair of glasses again.
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November 7, 2011 at 11:34 PM
allison
Eek. Knife to the eye. Way too chicken. Although I hear ya on all the way glasses suck, and even though I wear contacts during the day most days, I still have a perma-groove worn in my temples. It’s going to be awesome — you’ll feel so free! You can leap around in fields of wildflowers and shit. Go to one of those fancy places that shows you how to put on make up too.
November 8, 2011 at 7:36 AM
Stephanie
You are a brave woman. You said you wanted to do it and now you have an appointment December 1st. You’re walking the talk… I’m envious of your courage.
November 8, 2011 at 12:48 PM
Janet
People who are getting this surgery hate it when I tell them this story. But I feel it is my duty to do so. I asked my very renowned eye doctor about eye surgery because it was something I was seriously considering. He told me that he is constantly being approached by laser eye surgery clinics offering him money for referals but he outright refuses. According to my doctor, the eye never completely heals from this type of surgery. For example, he told me about a 23 year old patient of his who rubbed her eye one morning and is now completely blind in one eye. This happened a couple of years after she had the surgery! He also has a number of other patients who have had complications following surgery, ranging from vision loss and seeing black spots all the time. Even though I know lots of people who have had the surgery and are super pleased with the results, I’m now too chicken to get it done.
November 8, 2011 at 6:47 PM
gymnauseous
There’s risks in walking across the street (especially where we work). They explained the risks to me, and I’m good with them
)
November 8, 2011 at 3:07 PM
Ridney
A word of encouragement…I’ve had the surgery and I was so scared! I get grossed out by any kind of eye thing, wouldn’t even consider contacts because there is no way I could touch my eye. So I’m one of the least likely people to get eye surgery but the fogging up of the glasses was just too much to bear so I finally did the surgery and I can tell you it was completely painless. They kept telling me that and I just couldn’t believe them but it’s really not bad at all. You’re relaxed because of the meds they give you and you have all the drops so you don’t even feel anything. I was completely freaked out by the thought of having that thing holding my eye open but it’s really nothing, they slip it on so fast you aren’t even aware of it. The whole thing goes so quickly, you’re in and out before you know it and you do walk out of there being able to see…it’s amazing! Of course, it took me about a year to get out of the habit of trying to push up my glasses that were no longer there so I kind of looked like I had a nervous tic of touching my nose
November 8, 2011 at 4:35 PM
coffeewithjulie
You are braver than I! But then again, I haven’t worn glasses since I was 5 so maybe I’d be more brave if they were bugging me all the time. My mom has had surgeries on her eyes (cataracts, I believe) and I couldn’t believe she could just walk out and be all done after 15 minutes. it is pretty amazing what they can do these days.
p.s. Why don’t you have to wear makeup if you have glasses? You know I can still see your eyes with the glasses on, right?
November 8, 2011 at 6:48 PM
gymnauseous
I totally do! But you know I can’t see my own eyes properly, right?
) (cue the clown makeup)
November 12, 2011 at 10:49 PM
coffeewithjulie
Oh yeah! I never even thought about that! How can you put your own makeup on without being able to see your eyes probably?? How do people do it??
November 14, 2011 at 12:36 PM
Nick
Just wanted to pop in and give you a “huzzah” for doing the eye surgery, and a “good luck” thrown in as well. It has been 5 years for me now, and I am still loving it. Freedom from contacts is absolutely wonderful.
Recovery was slow, but mostly just meant I had to sit in a dark room for four days, with about 5 different eye drops. I listened to the entire HitchHiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radio series that week – I would highly recommend it.