So, went to the psychologist today. I really really like my psychologist. I’ve been having some weird thoughts lately. Mostly musical ones. I’m just rebuilding my playlists from the November computer wipe, which has caused me to, um, buy more music. Mostly nostalgic music.

Basically, my life over the past few weeks has been a little Nine Inch Nails (more Downward Spiral than Pretty Hate Machine). My doc says I need to react to this environment in a sort of bubble gum *NSync/Spice Girls kind of way. That would make my life a little more Bjork than Nirvana (Homogenic/Hyperballad Bjork, not swan wearing Bjork). Not really my life, just sort of my attitude towards what’s happening therein.

So, in summary and with more current musical references, my people have been going very Kelly Clarkson on me (more My Life Would Suck Without You than Since You Been Gone), which has been causing some intense guilt (got no reference for that) and some people have been a little more Carrie Underwood (of the emotion though not the words of Before He Cheats) than I’m all that comfortable with. But, if I try to Mariah Carey (of the Shake it Off era) or Jay-Z (Dirt on your Shoulder), my other Jay-Z (99 Problems) should be easier to manage and I can embrace my third Jay-Z (On to the Next One).

I’m thinking I’m going to make a playlist and it’ll look like this:

  • Hurt – NIN
  • Bye Bye Bye – *NSync
  • Wannabe – Spice Girls
  • There’s More to Life Than This – Bjork
  • I Miss You – Bjork
  • Possibly Maybe – Bjork
  • Heart-Shaped Box – Nirvana
  • Rape Me – Nirvana
  • My Life Would Suck Without You – Kelly Clarkson (go ahead and mock me – my pop music professor would say these are perfect pop songs)
  • Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood
  • Shake it Off – Mariah Carey
  • Dirt on your shoulder; 99 Problems; On to the Next One, and Thank You – all by Jay-Z.

Shuffle. Repeat.

I will end this post with a chorus from the last song on this list. You all know about my enduring love for Jay. He’s ugly, but he can RAP and he is an entertainer. Some great words to live by:

Thank you, Thank you, thank you – You’re far too kind
Hold your applause. This is your song not mine
Thank you, Thank you, thank you – You’re far too kind
Do me a favor, don’t do me no favors. I’ll handle mine.