So, TV shows. You know the ones: Taking it Off, Last 10 Pounds Bootcamp, Bulging Brides, and everyone’s favourite, The Biggest Loser. I’ve long been a fan of BL, having watched it since the second season. I’ve cried with these people, I’ve admired them, I’ve screamed at the TV in anger and frustration when people’s final reveals show someone 50% smaller than when they started.

Right now, I’m sitting here watching Last 10 Pounds, which I believe is a Canadian show based out of Vancouver. There’s a 155 pound woman who wants to lose 10 pounds. I laugh, because she’s a size 8 or 10, for the love of god. A size 10? My left leg is a size 10. Okay, I exaggerate, but I certainly couldn’t pull a pair of size 10 pants over my butt. And she wants to lose weight, and they’re saying she needs to? Bite me, bitches. Bite me.

I’ve just realized that these TV shows do nothing but feed my insecurity and rage about my personal weight journey. Sure, they make it clear that losing weight is hard, but it seems so tidy when it’s packaged for TV. It seems like anyone can do it.

You know what? Everyone can’t lose weight. Losing weight sucks. It’s hard, it’s a lot of work, you need to be really creative, and it gets boring. It’s a lot easier just to be fat. And a lot of these people on these shows turn around and gain back all (or some or most) of that weight. Some of them regain even more.

In the last year, there’s been a lot of discussion about the Biggest Loser among the diet websites and the like. One of the contestants talked about starving and purposely dehydrating herself in order to score better at hte weigh ins. Other former losers (including a winner) appeared on the show having regained all of their lost weight and more.

Losing weight isn’t tidy. Losing weight is messy, and uncomfortable, and requires a whole lot of dedication. And sometimes, life stuff intervenes. And I really wish that these shows would focus less on the losing weight and more on the process of keeping it off, of establishing a healthy relationship with food, and figuring out how to have a social life without feeling deprived.

Actually, I kind of just wish these shows didn’t exist. Because they make me feel inadequate. And, judging by the stories of just about everyone I know who watches Biggest Loser, it’s the time in the week when you’re most likely to binge eat, when you’re going to sit on the sofa and eat chips, when you’re going to bust out that bag of Hershey Kisses (again, I’m still bitter that they changed these, but should be happy because my go to stress food is no longer tasty).

I know, I could turn off the TV. And you know what? I did. I’m not watching Biggest Loser this year. Nope. I’m not doing that to myself anymore. I’m worth more than two hours of self-hatred every week. I’m worth a positive approach to food and exercise. I’m focusing on exercise that I like, foods that I enjoy, and creating a better attitude.