Sometimes, you’re going to eat your feelings. Life happens. Crappy things happen. And sometimes, you eat through that situation.

My boyfriend and I broke up on Thursday night. Actually, I broke up with him. He wasn’t able to open himself up to loving me, and I deserve to be with someone who loves me as much as I love him. It sucked, because I did what you’re supposed to do. I asked for what I wanted from a relationship. The only downside of that is, if you don’t get it, you need to really figure out what you’re going to do about it, and follow through.

I ate a lot on Friday. I ate a lot yesterday. Today, I’m back in the calorie budget. And I now have so much fruit in the house that I have less than no excuses for eating crap.

What do I have to eat for this week? Dinners are chicken skewers and grilled veg. Lunches are different grilled veg and salmon and pita bread. Snacks are cheese curds and fruit or cottage cheese and berries. I have canteloupe, watermelon, blueberries, strawberries, nectarines, pears, and plums.

This weekend without diet coke has been tough. Yesterday, the lack of caffeine (in combination with my heartsickness) resulted in me missing my bike clinic and having a four hour nap. Like, an hour after I got up. Today I managed to keep the nap to 90 minutes, accompanied by some advil. On each day, I had a diet coke while out and about. I know this is good for me, but MAN do I ever want a diet coke right now.

I’m hoping next week starts better than last week ended. Even if it doesn’t, I need to get past this issue of excuses. I need to learn how not to eat my feelings. But right now, I’m giving myself the liberty of actually feeling them. Because I haven’t always done that before, and it’s different. Not all that nice, but I think necessary to my evolution as a person.