So, I got my eyes lasered on Thursday morning. Couple of notes about that:

  1. Since telling two people the details almost made them hurl, I will not share. Suffice to say if you’re doing this, put your headphones on in the waiting room so you can’t hear people who’ve just had it done talk about the procedure. Take the xanax. And, if you take something xanax-like on a daily basis, insist on more than the standard dose.
  2. Dr Morgan at Lasik in Ottawa was awesome. In the pre-exam, he was so excited to point out my rosacea, which he diagnosed from looking at my eyelids. Uh, what what? Yeah. My eyelids. My dad has swelling of the eyelids, and he has rosacea. Neither of our dermatologists ever told us how to treat this. Apparently, a little baby shampoo rubbed into the eyelids can treat it just as well as medicated soaps and creams for the rest of your face. Sweet.
  3. People whose eyes tear up a lot (like my dad and I, especially in the wind), apparently have dry eyes. This can be resolved by using daily eye drops.
  4. When you have eye surgery that changes your prescription, it can take between one week and three months for your prescription to settle. In the interim, you have a lot of eye strain. This causes headaches and a mad need to sleep. You know what else causes that? Caffeine reduction.
  5. While I totally get the concept of decaffeinating when you already feel unwell, it’s really hard to tell when the headache is from my eyes and when it’s from a need for caffeine.
  6. I’m pretty much decaffeinated now. I’m down to one a day.
  7. You know what else happens when you have eye surgery? Blurry vision. Your brain has to rewire itself, and let’s face it, it’s just plain hard to see for a bit. You have to avoid reading, focusing on things up close, and screens for 24 hours. Here’s a hint in case you’re thinking of doing this: it’s really more like 72 hours.
  8. You know what you can do if you’re not able to read, watch TV, make stuff, or use the internet? Clean. Do Laundry. Sleep. And really not much else.
  9. You know what helps with the screens and books? Sunglasses. Yeah, I wore them in the car in the pouring rain today. I wore them inside a Walmart. I’m wearing them right now so that I can see the screen without strain.
  10. You know what though? It’s so f’ing boring that I could weep. I’m going back to work tomorrow, with advil and eye drops and sunglasses in hand.
  11. Sometimes, when your BFF has a mini-parenting crisis, you do stuff when you’re not able to see that well because it might make her life a little better. The BFF has three sons, 4, 2 and newborn. The 4 year old has not one, but two personalized superhero capes. He’s good about letting the 2 year old borrow one, but still…  Last night I squinted my sunglassed eyes through the making of a superhero logo shield complete with name, and today I made the cape. Although this will not generate more sleep or less stress for my BFF, it will at least make one of her kids very happy.
  12. You know what you can do when your eyesight is strained? Shop. My mum doesn’t like driving on the highway, so I picked her up and took her christmas shopping. Dad is making out like a bandit this year.
  13. You know what else you can do while you’re resting your eyes? Eat. I ate too much this weekend, mostly planned as a preventive measure to ensure I didn’t drink diet coke. It worked. But today! Today I ate lunch at a hip new restaurant called Back Lane Cafe. It was truly lovely. I had a pizza and mum had soup and we shared a handmade chocolate bar for dessert. OMFG, it was divine. Also, very busy. We were the only people there without reservations.

Lessons learned?

  1. If you normally fall asleep listening to audiobooks, it’s a pretty good bet that even an interesting audiobook will put you to sleep.
  2. Patience is a virtue I really don’t have. I think that’s genetic.
  3. If I have to get this done again, which definitely might happen, I will need to have a better plan to entertain myself while recovering.

How do you develop patience, anyway?