Exercise in frustration… get it? Oh, I crack myself up.

But seriously. I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated because I went swimming the other night and my back started to cramp. Sure, I made it 40 minutes in the pool before it cramped up, but still. Sure, I realize I only hurt myself a month ago, but still.

I am so impatient. I want to be an athlete. I want to be good at stuff. I want to be awake, alive, alert, enthusiastic. And yet.

Right now, I’m sluggish and tired and cranky and sore. I have more days without pain than with it, but yesterday I ached all day. My massage therapist thinks my SI joint is inflamed, which started to freak me out until I read what that meant (it’s the tissue around the joint, not the joint itself, an important distinction to someone who has osteoarthritis) and it can take months, weeks, or days for the inflammation to go away.

So, I stretch. I stretched my butt at a meeting yesterday. I stretched my hip flexors in my office. I stretched my hamstrings in the house. I did baby back rotations in my bed. There’s a lot of stretching, people.

And I’m getting back in the pool tomorrow. Because it’s important that I am at least able to swim, for the love of pete. And maybe bike. Even if I have to walk instead of run, if I can just swim and bike on May 18th, I’ll feel better about myself.

This is a purely mental game at this point. A waiting game. A game of not pushing too hard, but still pushing forward.

If only I was a patient person…